| Writer's Block: I'm sorry |
[22 Oct 2009|03:00am] |
well in the tense of 'past' id say a friend that was in almost every class since like 1nd grade..killed himself after high school graduation..i think it was over a stupid girl. I wish I coulda reassured him that there are many out there who love him. many missed him.
i got noone to apologize to.. i always was self aware if i hurt anyone..
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[22 Aug 2009|12:29pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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..oh yea.. according to mom, i saw "owls" while recovering in the recovery room. i dont remember.. but i guess the grain on the door looked like owls to me! i only remembergetting in car.. i dont remember elevator or anything...
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[19 Aug 2009|03:09pm] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
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got my wisdom tooth yanked out yesterday.. #17..bottom left side wisdom tooth trying to emerge i could feel it shoving against the row of teeth it shared and it was only slightly out. i was chompin my cheek and it just hurt my neck a bit and jaw.. i knew it was time to come out. of course it wasnt hurting on my way to oral surgeon, but the 2 weeks before the appt i was poppin advil 3 times a day.
thats my first surgery... o.o
going under anathesia is kinda cool...tho i hate when i gotta extend my arm stiff as a board and take a needle up my arm after getting tourniquet.. then clamped the pulse reader on my index finger on right hand, strapped both armsto chair...then they slipped the nose oxygen...omg this is all new to me!!!
then i saw him attach a needle headed hose to my needle already in my arm.. looked up at cieling. doc xcomplimented my green amber bracelet..i replied "my friend gave it to me.." and i slipped away..
Ifelt the anathestic creep through my veins and capillaries..up my arm.. into the other ..into my torso..it worked its way up my neck and i felt very cool suddenly and beghan to shut my eyes as i felt it slather over my brain through the arteries and nerves..
i woke upwobbling to recovery room.. came home and collapsed onto couch with my head on Ellis lap in and out of conciousness. after an hour i was able to sit up. no pain at all. elli was crackin up as i tried sipping my seltzer and wound up just dribbling soda down my neck and chest every time i drank.
my face hurts.
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| Writer's Block: Listen to This |
[06 Jul 2009|01:23am] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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Even if youre not into trance/triphop/electronica and all the related sub-categories..
EVERYONE must own a copy of Fluke "Puppy" or Massive Attack "Mezzanine". Perfect driving/fucking/laying back with a spliff and the lights low/cuddling/partying/dancing crazy/slow dancing soundtracks.
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| Writer's Block: I Can Relate |
[18 Jun 2009|02:39pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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im not ahuge fan of the show, "Sex and the City" ...but Ive watched a season with my girlfriends and they all say im like Samantha. Can't say I wouldn't work as a hostess at an S&M bar in Manhattan.. aside from being a bit promiscuous..i can relate how she just gets what she wants. shes confident and self assured. sassy outfits. situations she finds herself in... i could relate on a number of episodes and laugh.
then my gamer pals say i make a good Christie (from Dead or Alive) or Ivy (Soul Calibur) cuz my hair is bleached platinum white.
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| hookah-smoking caterpillar... |
[04 Jun 2009|11:48am] |
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music |
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Jefferson Airplane - "White rabbit" |
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http://www.popeater.com/movies/article/david-carradine-dies/513984?icid=main|main|dl1|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.popeater.com%2Fmovies%2Farticle%2Fdavid-carradine-dies%2F513984
why?! Why did you do this to yourself?!
R.I.P David Carradine. You attractive,talented older man.
gotta fix my stupid car. get an eye exam , because i was standing 10 feet from a Paul Mitchell blowdrier box and could barely make out the fine print on the box.. then i put on Kelsey's glasses..and it was like HD vision.. i could read the box perfectly where i stood., IM GOING BLIND!!!!!!! guess i gotta decide if contacts or glasses are for me...but i think i only need em for driving because when im trying to look out for signs while driving i often see them when its near too late. So does Elli.. every other day he get cluster migraine to the point he runs to the bathroom and barfs from the pain...i think he cant see either.
lotta get togethers going on!
taryns birthday on the 5th, ellis on the 8th.. shindig at Shashanas new salon (i hope to work there soon or something, its wrong to stay where im at). house party at Jen's fri and sat.
fucking allergies are killing me.
hangin with mom today a bit.
might adopt Kelsey's degu.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Degu
aww. hes ute and shrieks at me when i approach his cage..and likes when yopu stuff him in a pocket for bra top and he'll sleep.
well.. gotta get crackin on this day.
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| "shes good for one day of comfort, only because she has suffered.." |
[02 Jun 2009|01:54pm] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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Doin laundry. Fun. That time again where i got nothing black to wear. im skinnier than i been my whole life since i eat good and i still hate clothes these days heh.. maybe its good im not in fashion school. i blame my job. or maybe i should be at fashion school so i wont feel this way.
Hopeful;ly Im meeting Tina later. Shes wacky and trippy..early 30 something.shes near gaunt skinny with big wide eyes and long hair..which i dyed a dark ash blonde with platinum thick highlights. shes wears rockin clothes. i could tell she used to be very ill..like leukemia ill...she said every hair on her head and body fell out...which is akinda evident when i was working on her. She comes from LA. I think theres alot to learn about her. I hooked her up with pot (shes got a pot permit her dr perscribed back home ..lol) for her pain,which she paid for and split with me . not wild about Flyleaf, but the song lyrics for "Fully Alive" remind me of her..and like me shes into older rock bands like red hot chili peppers. id like to just know more about her..but shes mysterious and a little troubled.
i was kindof a bitch to elli this morning. i was grumpy i was sleeping good then it seemed like ebveryone in Israel was calling at 7 am like Yael stupidly calling "IM COMING!!! " (tho he might not even see her, theyre set to see eachother on Suinday when im at work..i guess i wont come since shes nice yes but associated with that skinny ugly cunt Ruth..)
Taryn's bday is coming . yayyy.
i feel liek i drift from Jen further and further.
time to rotate laundry.
i feel distant from my family.
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| Writer's Block: Look at Me/Don't Look at Me |
[17 May 2009|10:13pm] |
its strange, like i got a split personality. its like i love when i catch the stares and smiles and approaches. but once im getting showered with compliments i get all shy and i can feel my face gettin all goofy if im the center of attention. then some days its like , let them stare, and ham it up. i love attention, but i try not to let it be a basis of self worth. moderate attention is good. i love being looked at for outlandish styles out clubbin and whatnot. sometime i just love the haters. but i wanna baseball bat the jhead of those"undressing"stares and puke in their faces.
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[26 Apr 2009|07:34pm] |
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music |
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Beyonce - Diva :: does ba-donk-a-dunk booty dance::: |
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playing this now. people, buy this. i think the first was scarier.. but this one is more TWISTED and GOREY.
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| Writer's Block: Guarding the Terrorists |
[04 Apr 2009|11:54pm] |
tormenting them with music. my coworkers torment me with country and pop music when they touch the radio. id crack too. ihear thats how we get prisoners to talk by making them crazy blaring loud annoying repetitive music (kinda what we subject ourselves to on local radio or just turn MTV on..tch..)
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| Writer's Block: Take Your Chances |
[22 Mar 2009|10:33am] |
Depends...
with relationships if cheating was involved.. absolutely not. Ive wasted so much of my young life,shrink bills and Zoloft refills in the past with a guy i gave a 2nd chance..and saw a stupid best friend who gave a guy a 2nd,3rd,and 4th chance and ALMOST put herself at risk at getting herpes from that cheating fuck.
With jobs.. if it wasnt something like a medical profession or something where people health is at stake - id be lying if i didnt hide in a bathroom or backroom or my car praying my past bosses even current one (whom i feel lets too much shit go at my job with coworkers) doesnt fire me for innocently goofing up here and there. People can learn.. maybe even in relationships people will change IF THEY want to chance.. but i dont let myself be their experiment if theyll cheat again...but if they plan on treating me nicer.
in general.. people deserve chances only if they really got the capacity to change.
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| Writer's Block: Deal or No Deal |
[05 Mar 2009|02:08pm] |
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mood |
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 cranky |
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JEALOUSY..gets old FAST,CHEATERS ..yea ok lemme set myself up to get herpes because you couldnt control yourself,men/women that are sexually unadventurous.. im not askin for 3somes every night or anything..but if all you wanna do is vanilla sex..YOURE OUT , if you lie/omit truthful things , are a little too too in touch with your Ex,poor hygiene , socially inept,control freaks/clingers, culinary unadventurousness,blatant wandering eyes , uncouth manners (like answering your LOUD cellphone in a restaurant,belch outloud in public...etc), un intellectual,CHEAP ASS
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[01 Mar 2009|10:12am] |
made a niiiice goth/ebm/trance playlist . gettin excited for the parties comin up!
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[20 Jan 2009|01:16pm] |
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mood |
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 worried |
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music |
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Infected Mushroom - Artillery |
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"Waltz with Bashir" trailer. Hebrew with English subtitles.
I was interested originally in this flick cuz the ad featured the main young man squatting in a field with tanks in the background, takin a hit from a soda bottle bong. lol ..it reminded me of Elli. I love his stories of how he slipped through the cracks with drug testing and clever ways to escape working in the army and sleep all day. Then i read about it in a review in New York magazine ( one of the best mags ever..) its about the lives of guys who fought in the Lebanon/Israeli conflict. Of course i brought it to Elli's attention. I cant wait to get a dvd. Looks like some ass kickin detailed flash animation..the backgrounds look like places i been to in Israel. I miss that rude place..lol I wish i were in the Dead Sea right now smokin hash or in a hooka bar. The weather is so mild over there now..just hoodie weather at best. It was a magical place in some ways...but i was happy to be home in New York after all.
Got a dentist appointment today. im a lil worried.. my last cleaning they said my gums were a bit infected. Im scared my teeth are gonna fall out..(even tho they arent loose.. they just feel sore in one spot) i been brushing my teeth and flossing and keep a ready supply of Listerine since then..
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[01 Nov 2008|10:26pm] |
im alive!
moved into my own place...with Elli.
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[23 Aug 2008|11:26pm] |
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mood |
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 nervous |
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my flight to israel is at 2 AM, Monday.
...omg. im scared of flying.
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[30 Apr 2008|10:24pm] |
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Oh my god. I haven't been so happy in so long.
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[06 Mar 2008|04:27pm] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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I dunoo what it is.. i think its those sleepy eyes and dark hair. He always looks so sleepy. And the slow smile. I just wanna lay beneath some swaying palm trees with him. <3
Be mine, Adrien.
Lonely. depressed. Let down. Ill just stare at hotties liek him.
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